Sometimes we don’t always make the most out of life. It could just be a bad day or a bad week but for me, it wasn’t ever just that. I was overly content in doing absolutely nothing and feared change. It was the reason I froze up at the cashier in the store, the reason I stayed home instead of going out of town for the weekend, the reason I didn’t ride the roller coaster at the theme park. You might be familiar with this feeling because 1/4 people feel anxiety at some point in their life. I didn’t realize how much my anxiety was taking over my life until I developed Panic Disorder in 2016. I was having explosions of fear that incapacitated me for hours and I experienced them once a week like clockwork. I remember brief feelings of relief, a weight off of me, only to return a week later. I was angry and sad and then numb. I sought counseling and medication, yoga and boxing, whatever was offered. And, working at a spa, I had some interesting recommendations.
Although I’m not cured, I overcame a lot of my anxiety over the last two years. This new clarity has allowed me to look back and see all the moments that I’ve missed out on. Everyday things like going out to eat alone, or traveling to a new city, or experiencing a new type of food were all out of my comfort zone. I let this fear control so much of my life but now I’m ready to take back the control. I’ve decided to start facing all the things that scared me through the ultimate bucket list. This list will contain anything and everything that I think I should or could experience, even if I’m not psyched to do it. They might be simple every day tasks or crazy and wild dreams that I was scared to put on paper. We can learn from ALL experiences, good or bad, and I intend to make the most out of my life by experiencing and learning from each one. I hope that by showing my progress it will encourage others to understand that the experiences they face in life don’t have to be negative. It’s all about perspective and learning to gain back that control in your life so that you can truly live it. I hope you follow me on my journey!
I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.
– William Allen White